Filled/Hunger

Sometimes I say he is my Prozac,
because I was a ball of boy-crazy
pheremones before I met him.
For 33 years
my entire focus was boys -
crushing on them,
chasing them,
dating them.
That ended when I met him,
like flipping a switch.
Finding him has been
the realization of unconditional love.
He satisfied every craving I'd ever had.
It is a relief -
like coming home after a long absence.
That, plus mutual adoration,
year after year,
is my salvation.
And it might seem kind of weird
how utterly devoted I am to him -
or maybe it just seems a little weird to me
because of the wildness that lives inside me.
Having a crush
is a very natural state for me -
my brain wants that to be the flavor
of every ounce of affection I feel
for any man I'm not related to.
It is
   inconvenient
at times.

I would live a thousand lives all at once,
if I could,
but instead
I'll just love
a thousand times.