is never easy.
(Why is it always in pairs?)
I just need to find my balance.
It was wonderful to want again,
but now...
it is a relief to not care anymore.
...although this carefully cultivated apathy
is harder to maintain
than I expected.
Or maybe I just miss the exhilaration
of infatuation.
Still, though.
So far so good.
Except for that other loss....
the one I didn't work hard to attain,
the one I didn't even see coming.
I'm gutted.
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