Adjustments

You adjusted yourself in your chair
in a way that reminded me of
that time I gave my therapist a boner.
I'm not accusing you of the same,
(but I might be salivating a little at the possibility).

I was giving my therapist
an example
of one of the times
I struggled to say no -
I was telling him
about the man I met at a bar
the man who introduced himself
with a picture of his cock on his phone.
I licked the screen and handed it back -
smiling at him with shock at myself;
he laughed and ate it up,
and then
we spent the evening
accepting each other's dares,
and ended up
skimming the surface of a fuck
in the bathroom.
Not my classiest move
but he was that irresistable
(a beautiful bear of a man).
I was just trying to describe the mechanics of this situation
to illustrate
for my therapist
that I hadn't really said no very well,
but that I had really tried.
(I can hear myself saying things that sounded like polite excuses -
I can't, I really shouldn't, I have other commitments... My voice dampened by the layers of bar sounds on a Saturday night
But his smile was beaming too bright
to let his ears hear.)
With the therapist, I was sure;
with you...
you were probably just in need of a standard adjustment,
but still...
I liked seeing you shift your position
ever-so-slightly
because...
what if...?
What if
you had felt
just the smallest rush of blood,
the slightest change in tempo,
how delicious that would be
for me...